Arachnid Fears

It’s never good to hear, “Now don’t panic…” ugh! Don't panic...but! That’s exactly what my lovable husband said to me a few years ago.

We were standing in the dark. Literally. The one light bulb in the hazy room seemed to be burnt out – or the electricity wasn't working. We weren't sure.

I can’t tell you (Or, more accurately, I would rather not tell you) which state we were in at the time, but we were traveling for “religious” purposes. {Sometimes that phrase just makes me laugh – “religious” purposes. You already understand that our RELIGOUSNESS is no good in God’s eyes!}  But we are all as an unclean thing, and all our righteousnesses are as filthy rags; and we all do fade as a leaf; and our iniquities, like the wind, have taken us away. Isaiah 64:6 (KJV)

Anyway, I digress. There I was, standing in an unfamiliar room, holding my breath. Was it a mouse? Was the dusky and stagnant air actually a fire from the radiator? Did we walk in on someone?

No! It was worse! I looked to my right, and there was a spider the size of a football ready to leap at me and rip my carotid artery apart like butter! He had that look…Killer! Death trap! Messenger of death!

I ran screaming from the room. I think I ran so fast; one of my shoes was left on the muddled carpet. Possibly from old chewing gum or something worse. My husband walks out and calmly says, “Well, it’s too big to kill with my shoe. Wonder if I could find a big stick out here?”

On moments like that, there are two kinds of people in the world. Those who don’t mind arachnid assassins and those of us who are petrified. (Please don’t judge me for being in the latter, more brilliantly-minded group). Okay, that’s a joke, but it just seems logical to my brain to be in group number two. There’s no thinking about it – it just is. It’s within me. Auto-pilot. Subconscious. Spiders = horror. I even had a hard time finding a “friendly” looking spider pic on the internet for this posting! Ha! I’m just “down-right skeered” of them. (I have friends who actually own a spider as a pet – I cannot relate – but I don’t judge).

Thankfully, we carry a couple of flashlights in our vehicle, and upon further inspection, my husband found a beautiful colony of bedbugs and a few other critters that he didn't want to tell me about. I think it may have been roaches and centipedes. I tried not to ask!

Either way, we gingerly darted back into the car. Well, he did. Me…not so much. I buckled up and locked the doors several times – I needed to be careful in case one of the assassins tried to open my door! I just KNOW they were looking for ways to sneak back and chew my eyes out.

Off to the nearest Wal-Mart we went. It was well worth the additional 45 minute drive each way, let me tell you! We quickly purchased bleach, extra bleach, light bulbs, bed sheets, sanitizer, towels, and insect repellent. Lots of insect repellent. I’m pretty sure I looked for blow-torches but I didn't find any.

It was a sleepless night. (For me – not for hubby). We disinfected and protected and ‘barriered’ (A word I just made up) as best we could. He, rather quickly, much to my chagrin, fell asleep. The drip-drip-drip of the russet colored water from the sink didn't mesmerize me into much needed sleep.

I played with the shadow images from my flashlight for what seemed every bit of 2 or 3 hours. My exhaustion and trepidation had kicked in again, so I became adept at finger puppets – childhood shadow puppets. I had convinced myself I was making artistic sharks, pelicans, rabbits, airplanes, clowns, books, and all sorts of objects. In reality, I was confined to rabbit ears – but I had transformed into Picasso somewhere after 1:00 a.m.

When we left the “hotel of torture” early the next morning, the bags under my eyes told of my sleepless night. However, the water bottle in my gym bag came in handy. I used that water to brush my teeth. No sense in exposing myself to extra bacteria and death molecules, right?! It’s amazing how creative humans can be when we’re in a jam.

What does this arachnophobia story have to do with Christians, you ask? I’m glad you asked…

1) Upon further inspection and brighter light, what would non-Believers find in us? How would you look? I cannot even tell you the grime and other scary stuff I saw on the bedspread that night. I didn't see it until a NEW bright bulb was illuminating the room though! Our lights can dim easily! 

2) Stay connected to the Power. God’s power.  Some people are as afraid or turned-off by Christians as I am spiders…being aware of opportunities to be a GOOD example is important.

 3) When we’re in spooky or anxious times – we have Someone there to help us!  To be our protector! That Someone is Christ, Jesus. 

4)A fearful mind is a dangerous mind! The Bible tells us, “Fear thou not; for I am with thee: be not dismayed; for I am thy God: I will strengthen thee; yea, I will help thee; yea, I will uphold thee with the right hand of my righteousness.” Isaiah 41:10 KJV.

5) We can find blessings when we’re LOOKING for them! (Like the bottle of water I found in my gym bag)

When we arrived at our morning destination, a very nice clergyman greeted us with a smile. He brightly asked, “Did ya’ll sleep well? How was everything?”

Thankfully, my husband spoke up. “I slept really well,” was his answer. Whew!

Another life lesson – don’t be so fast to speak up! God will provide an honest way out! 

Look UP my friends!