Everyone has something in common – a past! Some things in our pasts are fantastic; yet some bits and pieces may be less than great. I think most people have a regret or two in their life. Those things which are hard to let go of. Our past can be a daunting figure to contend with in our current lives. The adversary (and people) will remind us of lost opportunities, failed relationships, causes of heartache, mistakes we’ve made, money or jobs we lost, family situations gone awry, hurt feelings, injuries we have received, moments of discouragement, disappointments we’ve experienced, injustices we had, and so forth. The list could go on indefinitely. (Life Moment: It is a heartrending reality that usually there is one (or two) folks in our lives who are happy to remind us of past mistakes given any opportunity! If you don’t have anyone in your life who will bring up past bruises and situations, then please recognize how blessed you are! Please pray for those who are routinely reminded of how extraordinarily ordinary as human we are. I have found that many people don’t know how to “buffer” their thoughts. As the saying goes, just because you think it, doesn’t mean you speak it! And wounds remain fresh, because the insensitivity of the tongue scrapes the scab off before it has had time to heal – emotionally speaking.) Perhaps you even know someone who cannot seem to “get over” an event or move on mentally and spiritually in their lives. Frankly, sometimes our past seems bigger than our future, right? That isn’t true! It simply is not true, my friend. (I John 1:9 is a great Scripture to read when you’re feeling defeated by the past!)
My first impression of Beth was that she is a smart lady. She’s talented. Sings in a country-western band of some sort. Works in a professional setting. She has 1.5 babies and a nice husband from what she said. (Yes, she’s pregnant and expecting a son in October). She recently told me of her ‘laundry list’ of blessings in life. I had casually asked her, “So tell me what good things God has blessed you with lately?” That’s one subtle way to encourage someone, and it’s also a good way to open a conversation about God – at least it works for me. J I thought her life, as it was, sounded fabulous, minus no mention of the Lord in her life, or church living. (It was beginning to sound like a good time to share my own list of life’s blessings – and in doing so – tell her about my relationship with a sovereign God.) Take note of when doors open to share your own message of the Cross! (Life Moment: the stories we tell about our own lives are good indicators of events and times we hold closely in our hearts. Have you told any stories about Jesus lately? What do your conversations mostly consist of? I’m merely asking – it is food for thought).
As the conversation shifted, I began to discern a change in Beth’s attitude. Her voice tone changed. Her body language shifted. She didn’t shed any tears, but I could definitely discern she was angry, or bitter, or heated about something. Or maybe a mixture of all three. I didn’t really know where the conversation was going!
Beth went on to tell me a new laundry list – this one of hurts, mental wounds, estranged relationships and so forth. She told me of a huge argument she’d had with her husband. Another verbal battle with her mom. A house loan that didn’t go through. An epic disagreement with her boss (a conflict of ethics) which resulted in her losing her job. It was a mountain of conflict and injustices that she had recently experienced – and while carrying a baby!? I felt so bad for her…I listened as best I could. Finally, I had an opportunity to ask a few questions – I was trying to offer support in the right way.
The terrible and unfair situations she had told me about?? Happened 4 and 5 years ago!
She wasn’t able to let go. Still carrying around hurts and unresolved pain. AND during a pregnancy. (Heartbreaking!) I’m not judging her – I assure you. It just made me extremely sad…to bring forward a new life in the midst of old rotten, tattered emotional baggage. What a shame. We can all very easily lose focus on what gifts God grants us, particularly in the here and now.
I doubt I gave the best advice, but I encouraged Beth to find a good church family – a church where the Bible and God are the preeminence. I told her that looking back, and STAYING back, is unhealthy! The past is like using your rear view mirror in the car. It's good to glance back and see how far you've come, but if you stare too long you'll miss what's right in front of you. We cannot change the past. But we can learn from it; seek God’s will for our lives and form a future! It is not good to keep asking and revisiting “what might have been.” It’s a situation just waiting for disaster! We must keep our eyes on what is ahead…looking forward. Always try to learn from past mistakes – otherwise, the mistake wasn’t worth it! Living an unhappy life is NOT the life God designed for His children! We must chose happiness sometimes…that happiness comes from God.
My last bit of advice for Beth – something I had actually read on Pinterest® the day before …”To entertain the conversation with life – the one God give us – We must change one key word. Stop asking WHY this happened to me. Start asking why is this happening FOR me?” When we do this, we’re free in Christ!
Look UP my friends!
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