It makes me cringe when I hear a spouse speak negatively about their mate. For numerous reasons I find it especially belittling when a wife puts her husband down in front of other men. In a very full elevator, a brash wife said, “Oh good grief. He drives me nuts. Henry goes his way and I go mine. If I didn’t have to see him all week, I’d be good. He’s broke anyway.” The two women snickered. My heart sank, as I couldn’t help but look into the face of one who would speak such harsh words in the midst of a crowd. Then a voice in the back of the elevator broke through the awkward moment. “Thanks, Liz.”
I felt so bad for Henry! How terrible this demoralizing moment must have been for him. Oh, dear friend, be mindful of the power of our tongues! The Bible teaches us in the book of James, a discourse, on the use and misuse of the tongue. (Prov 18:21) Death and life are in the power of the tongue: and they that love it shall eat the fruit thereof. Since words are a very powerful instrument, it behooves every Christian to know what to say and when to say it. I encourage each of us NOT to belittle our spouses, or others, most especially in front of an audience.
For years I worked with “Mandy.” She was/is an ambitious, go-getter type person. However, in general conversation she would belittle her husband a lot. Continuous jabs about herself being the bread winner; how she called the shots at home, how she ruled the roost, so on and so forth. I don’t remember the quality of her work – What stands out in my mind is how she would speak so poorly of her husband. This isn’t good my friends! We must be mindful of our words.
In the book of James, Chapter 3, he expounds his account on the tongue. He states that each of us will cause offense to people in different areas. One writer said, "These people may stumble over some of the things we do. This happens because we are human and still in the sin body. It doesn’t matter whether we do things intentionally or if we do them accidentally." The sin nature sometimes has its way in our life. Here James is telling us that we may offend people in different ways but we all offend with the tongue. In other words we say things that will emotionally hurt other people. You’ve heard the old adage, “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me.” This simply is not true. Words can linger in our hearts and minds – for years, decades. They can scar. Tear down. Rob us of our confidence! James 3:8 (KJV) But the tongue can no man tame; it is an unruly evil, full of deadly poison. May I Repeat – an unruly tongue is poison! Every Christian needs to have a buffer – let’s not blurt out the first thing that pops into our minds. At least not at the wrong time, in the wrong place, at the wrong moment. Use caution!
I recently had quite an experience at the local grocery store. I was in line to buy a couple of chicken cutlets for our dinner, and the person (hesitate to call her a lady) in front of me started using the most vile, wicked language – tossing insults and criticisms to the butcher like javelins being thrown toward an Olympic target. She proceeded to actually curse the cod fillet(s) she was so dire to receive. I couldn’t understand WHY her language so vulgar, when the butcher seemed to be working as hard as possible to appease her. I kept quiet. I just offered a smile of encouragement to him, so as not to add to the pressure cooker environment.
You know what happened next. She asked me “what my problem was.” In a soft voice, I explained that I didn’t have a problem, but I’d appreciate it if she wouldn’t use my Lord’s name in vain. (The simple request didn’t work). You can imagine, so I’ll spare you the details. She walked away without cod fillets – and I walked away with burning ears. From this chance encounter, I remain somewhat scarred from the butcher’s counter – doubt I will buy cod fillets any time soon.
I looked for the butcher the last time I was there, which was a few days ago…He smiled and was doing his job dutifully. No signs of external damage.
Our mother did and would have washed our mouths out with soap (literally) if we tried to use certain words! It’s just what many ‘southern mamas’ did. I suppose one of my siblings could tell you with precision what the blue dye in Dawn dishwashing liquid tastes like. J (He’s fine! No lasting damage! At least not related to soapJ)
We do not have to say wicked words – hurtful words – there are many ways to express frustration and anger. Please use that “buffer” I spoke of earlier, before you misspeak and hurt the ones you love most. James 3:5 Even so the tongue is a little member, and boasteth great things. Behold, how great a matter a little fire kindleth!
Why is that using “swear words” and “foul language” isn’t frowned upon or taken as seriously today, as it used to be? Are you satisfied at the way your language reflects your heart and your attitude?
Look UP my friends!
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